comforts
I had a sleepy dull day. Okay I moped around and slept most of the day away - after church. I was tired - lost some sleep the night before. I truly was tired but truly was hiding from father's day.
There was no hiding. I was happy to be in the nursery at church so I could hide from the usual sermon.(my feeling on the way in) Attributes of a Godly Father. Of course there was no usual sermon as we are not a predictable organization. We are very much an organically grown garden of godly inspired people. It's not that I felt sad of the loss of my Dad. Not that wounds have not healed or forgiveness fully found. Just that there's not that one person there to take to dinner or invite over. Also, that my daughter's father did not want to spend it with her. I believe that's a family curse we've broken. She made other plans - it distracted her-she is learning to cope. I know this curse is broken. Our father in heaven father's us and comforts us and LOVE'S US. I know the attributes of a Godly father. I know that it is missing from my life and my daughters. It is around us on a daily basis which is great and not so great. Only today it's not. I like to be alone but today was lonely.
All those TV shows did not help. When Tanya came home we cried together. It was a good comfort and release. So was the bag of oreo cookies which has not helped my moods swinging and sleepyness. Ultimately, God comforts without the after effects .
There was no hiding. I was happy to be in the nursery at church so I could hide from the usual sermon.(my feeling on the way in) Attributes of a Godly Father. Of course there was no usual sermon as we are not a predictable organization. We are very much an organically grown garden of godly inspired people. It's not that I felt sad of the loss of my Dad. Not that wounds have not healed or forgiveness fully found. Just that there's not that one person there to take to dinner or invite over. Also, that my daughter's father did not want to spend it with her. I believe that's a family curse we've broken. She made other plans - it distracted her-she is learning to cope. I know this curse is broken. Our father in heaven father's us and comforts us and LOVE'S US. I know the attributes of a Godly father. I know that it is missing from my life and my daughters. It is around us on a daily basis which is great and not so great. Only today it's not. I like to be alone but today was lonely.
All those TV shows did not help. When Tanya came home we cried together. It was a good comfort and release. So was the bag of oreo cookies which has not helped my moods swinging and sleepyness. Ultimately, God comforts without the after effects .
posted by Wave's Word at
11:11 PM
2 Comments:
special days like Father's Day can really trigger stuff. I think it is great though that you are real about how you are feeling! much better then just pretending everything is ok! I think it is great to cry and mourn what has been lost, as long as one doesn't stay there!, it is healthy to get it out!
By
Lala's world, at 11:54 AM
How are you doing today? Instead of thinking of it as a human father's day - change it to a heavenly father's day. Write up what you love about Him.
Don't forget that He has big plans for you!! Jer. 29:11
By
Unknown, at 1:27 PM
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